Recently a question was asked on City-Data about kids growing up in Englewood Cliffs, NJ. The original poster wanted to know “Will my kids turn into snobs living in Englewood Cliffs?”
Originally, I stated “Only if you let them.”
But then I thought about it a bit more. How does a person become a snob? Do they just get up one day and decide to act in a snobbish manner? Or is it something that is learned over time in an effort to “keep up with the Jones’ “? I don’t like “thinking of people” as it were. Why? Because it makes me feel like a gossip, like someone who is judging someone else based solely on their actions and not knowing the whole person and their lot in life. Nonetheless, it is a reality that people who act out as snobs do so as a way to garner attention, to be seen by a certain group and, most importantly, accepted.
Indeed, Merriam-Webster’s defines a snob as “one who blatantly imitates, fawningly admires, or vulgarly seeks association with those regarded as social superiors.” Thus, we can say this is a way of acting that is learned. Yet it is something that can be combated if people are able to differentiate between trying to be another person and being themselves.
As I mentioned in the thread on City-Data, I do not believe this to be a stupid question so much as it is one that should be discussed by the family. Families, particularly parents, need to talk about who they are. What are the core, fundamental values the family believes in, both socially and economically? What goals and objectives are valued by family members? What actions would the family expect of one another to attain those goals and objectives? Of course, all of this is coalesced into the simple directive of Jesus Christ: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
I’d say kids of any age need to learn the difference between being a “snob” and being “sociable.” And what is “being sociable?” Again Merriam-Webster’s states “sociable” as “inclined by nature to companionship with others of the same species” and “marked by or conducive to friendliness or pleasant social relations.” Perhaps the nuance is lost, but I would posit a person would find life more fulfilling if they were themselves while acting in a sociable manner.
Certainly kids are going to imitate one another. Even adults will, from time to time, attempt to act in a way similar to someone else. Indeed, “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” However, if unchecked, the effort moves beyond imitation to losing one’s self in an shameful effort to be somebody else. Hence, I return to my original statement: “Only if you let them.”
People become snobs when they attempt to be someone they are not without anyone calling them to take the important step back to look at their life and evaluate if they are being themselves or trying to be someone else.
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